Moving your child from their cot to a bed
Written by Claire Burgess, Family Consultant
The transition from cot to bed can happen anywhere between the ages of 18 months and 3 years old. My advice would always be that the closer you can get to 3 years old the better! Being closer to 3 they are more developmentally ready for this change and will have a greater understanding of the concept of being in a bed. By doing the transition at this stage it will usually go much more smoothly than doing it when they are very little.
When do I know my child is ready to move from a cot to a bed?
This is going to be individual to the child and their developmental stage. All children will show signs of being ready at differing ages and so here are some of things to look out for:
Your child is fully toilet trained (both day and night) and needs to be able to get to the toilet on their own in the night. If they are still wearing nappies at night then don’t worry about making the move to a bed as they still don’t need to be able to get out to go to the toilet at this stage.
They have started climbing out of the cot. Your child may be experimenting with this. It might be something that they try but then stop, so don’t let just one attempt dictate the need to move to a bed. If they are under 2.5 years then if you can avoid making the move this would be beneficial as developmentally they would not quite be ready. Some things to try:
o Having your little one in a sleeping bag can help to stop the climbing attempts.
o Check that you have the mattress on the lowest setting as this will help with stopping your little one being able to get over the top.
o Consider your reaction to your child doing this. If you react with laughter, getting them to show you again what they are doing or letting them come and get in bed with you etc, then there will be a greater incentive for them to doing this! If they do climb, you need to try not to react and just return them to their cot and hope that your lack of reaction will mean that they don’t try it again!
o When you have put your little one down for a nap or bedtime it’s helpful if you can watch them on a monitor and if you can see that they are attempting this you can go in and make it clear that they are not to. If you are consistent with this message then they should stop.
*If your child continues to climb out of the cot then this needs to be addressed as safety is key. If they are going to hurt themselves either by climbing out of the cot or by wandering around the house, then you may need to look at moving them to a bed for their own safety.
Your child is getting too big for the cot and is getting disturbed at night from being restricted.
You have a new baby coming and you need the cot for the baby. This needs to be given some thought - having a new sibling coming can be an unsettling time for little ones and if they are suddenly taken out of their sleep space (which is all they have known) it can be even more unsettling and upsetting. Consider the age of your child; if they are under 2 and half, still happy in their cot etc then do you need to move them out prior to the new baby coming? It might be that you wait 6 months or more after the baby has arrived before making this change. If you do need to make the change then try to make this a minimum of 6 weeks prior to the baby arriving so that they have time to adjust to their new sleep environment and don’t associate the change being the baby’s fault!
What can I do to prepare?
This depends on your personal circumstances such as the space that you have, if you have a cot-bed or if you need to introduce a new bed etc.
Here are some tips which might help:
Prior to making the move to a bed it can help to introduce a duvet to the cot. However, please bear in mind that you shouldn’t introduce a duvet or pillow before your child is 12 months (at the earliest) and waiting until your child is over 2 years is ideal.
Purchase some children’s books about sleeping in a bed and start to read these prior to making the change. Here are some options, but there are lots on the market.
If making the move from cot to bed will require your child to move to a different bedroom, then look to make the move to the new bedroom with your child still in the cot. Let them adjust to their new environment and then think about introducing the bed.
Involve your child in choosing their bedding. If they feel involved in the change then they are going to feel more comfortable with this.
Check the bedroom environment once your child can get up and move around. Think about things that they might be able to access (medicines etc), things that they might be able to climb on (plug sockets, blind cords etc) and remove or make safe these possible hazards prior to moving them into a bed.
Make the bedroom a place which is relaxing and for sleep. if there are toys in your child’s room think about introducing storage where the toys go so at bedtime so that in the middle of the night they are not a temptation for your child to get out of bed to play.
Having a stair gate at the bedroom door can be a good idea. This helps to keep your little one safe in their room and avoids them roaming around the house in the middle of the night - it is a safety feature more than anything else. If you are going to do this then it is best to do it when they are still in a cot and it becomes the norm to have the stair gate at the door. You don’t want to put them in a bed and then put the stair gate up as this can make them feel contained in a way that they don’t like.
How do we make a start?
Explain to your child that morning that they are going to move to a bed. If you are taking the side off of the cot bed then let them be there to see this happening - it will help them to understand the concept of their cot looking like a bed.
If you can try to have the bed in the same position that you have had the cot, this will mean that this feels familiar in the way that they sleep and if they wake in the night what they see etc. will be the same.
Hopefully you will have introduced a duvet prior to the move to the bed and so try to have this duvet for the first few nights or a week (you might need to move to a bigger one if you have move to an actual bed). Having bedding which is familiar and smells familiar will help with the transition.
Keep with your bedtime routine as this will help your child to wind down for sleep. Don’t be tempted to change things just because your little one has made the move to a bed; this will be enough of a change for them. If you normally do stories on a chair in their room then continue to do this. If you sing a song, have a certain phrase each night when putting them into the cot, then do this when putting them into bed.
If your child is still napping, then try to make the change over to a bed in the morning so that they can then have their nap in the bed that afternoon. If they are not napping then try to have time in their room that day letting them practice putting their toys etc to bed so that it helps familiarise themselves with the new situation prior to bedtime.
Having a bed guard to help with stopping them falling out of bed. Again, there are lots of different options on the market, but here are some examples.
There are also products where the duvet is clipped, tucked or zipped up to avoid them falling off in the night when your little one is moving around.
If you don’t want to use a guard to stop your little one falling out of bed it can help to put cushions or pillows on floor by the bed so that your little one has a soft landing if they are to roll out. Another tip for this is to have a bed which is low to the ground so that the distance your little one has to fall is minimal.
Once your little one has done a nap or night-time in the bed, then don’t forget to praise them for doing so well as this will help them to feel positive about this new stage.
What happens if my little one keeps getting out of bed?
This is all about your child trying to work out their new situation - previously when put in the cot there was no way of coming to find you or to wander around the house. This can feel very exciting and will give them a whole new sense of freedom, but you need to remain calm and consistent with the approach that you have. If your little one gets up then you should remind them, “it is bedtime” and then take them back to bed and tuck them back in. They might continue to do this, particularly in the first few nights. The key to getting through this is being consistent with what you are saying and instilling. As above when I talked about climbing out of the cot, if you let them climb into bed with you or come downstairs for another 10 mins then they will think that this is ok and will then look to do this each night. As with everything, if you are happy with this and it works for you then go with it, but, if this something that is not going to work, then you need to be clear on these boundaries and continue to take your child back to bed with the same message. When children are testing the boundaries they are doing it to find out what the boundaries are; consistency with the message will help them to feel safe and secure at a time when they are experiencing change.
As with many of these changes for children, when they are developmentally ready they tend to happen smoothly and without too much difficulty.
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