How We Helped a Toddler Rebuild Toilet Confidence After a UTI

Written by Claire Burgess, Family Consultant and Laura Reitsis, Safeguarding around dogs

At a glance

Family situation: A mum with a 3.5 year old son

Challenge: Withholding wees at nursery led to a UTI, which left him too scared to use the toilet at all

Service used: One-to-one phone consultation

Consultant: Claire, Consultant at Bespoke Family

Outcome: Confidence rebuilt with accidents stopping and toilet use back to normal

Why is my toddler suddenly refusing to use the toilet?

This mum's son had been managing well with potty training until he started withholding his wee all day at nursery. The withholding led to a UTI, and after that, he became frightened of the toilet altogether, refusing to use it and having accidents throughout the day instead. She'd tried everything she could think of  with no improvement, and reached out to Bespoke Family feeling at a loss.

How Claire rebuilt his confidence

Claire spoke to the family over a phone consultation, working through both the practical and emotional sides of what had happened. Rather than pushing straight back to normal toilet use, the approach focused on rebuilding trust first.

• Identified the fear response to the toilet, not stubbornness, as the root of the withholding and accidents

• Gave specific, practical advice on how to approach the withholding behaviour at nursery, not just at home

• Focused on rebuilding confidence gradually rather than expecting an immediate return to normal use

• Followed up directly with the family afterward to check progress and adjust the approach as needed

The result

Within about a week of the consultation, the fear and withholding had eased, accidents stopped, and toilet confidence was restored, without the ongoing follow-up cycle of failed attempts the family had been stuck in beforehand.

In their words

"I decided to reach out to Bespoke Family for a phone consultation and it was just brilliant, Claire was so lovely and understanding. She gave me some really great advice on how to approach the withholding at nursery and also followed up afterwards to check how things were going."

About Claire

Claire is a Consultant at Bespoke Family. 

If your child has had a setback with toilet training, our toilet training consultants can help rebuild their confidence, often faster than you'd expect. Book a free discovery call.