Supporting your teen through university admissions
Written by Miguel Christian, First Class Education
The university application process is one of the most significant milestones in your teen’s life and as a parent, it can feel like one of yours too. You want them to succeed, but knowing how to help without overstepping can be a delicate balance. Should you help them with picking their university choices? Should you help them write their personal statement? When does parental support turn into pressure? This guide will walk you through how to be an effective partner in your teen’s university application process, helping them build a strong application while maintaining their authenticity, independence, and confidence.
Understanding and Communication
The first step to helping your teen with their university application is to understand their goals and motivations, ideally around the start of year 12. Offering advice without knowing what your teen actually wants out of university may place unnecessary pressure on them. Trust me, they’ll thank you!
A good way to open this conversation is to ask them about their interests and long term goals so you can assess the options together. You may find that your son or daughter is keen on a particular course, university, that they want to take a gap year, or they may even not be sure they want to attend university at all. What’s important is your teen has ownership over their own application and as a parent, your role is to support them in their decision, not to direct or decide for them.
University students
Building a Plan Together
Once you understand your teen’s future goals, you can start researching options collaboratively. Avoid falling into the trap of telling them what to do, you just want to present them with the different paths available. Some university options keep future options open, while others put you on a more predictable path. The classic example of a university path that locks you into a predefined career is medicine because you spend six years studying at university to become a doctor. Alternatively, completing a degree in something like mathematics keeps options open for your teen to explore their interests and strengths.
Once your teen is set on what they want to study, the next challenge is deciding which universities to apply to. Note that not all universities offer every course, and other universities might specialise in your teen’s subject and be renowned for teaching it. Examples of this include: Philosophy, Politics, and Economics (PPE) at Oxford, Music at the Royal College of Music, and Natural Sciences at Cambridge.
When helping your son or daughter choose their 5 UCAS university options, it’s also important to balance ambition with being realistic, having a mixture of reach (highly competitive), target (strong academic fit), and safety (lower entry requirements) schools.
Aside from course and university, other considerations to keep in mind are:
Academic reputation: Is your teen’s chosen university known for their teaching?
Course content: Does the course your teen choose have the content they want to learn? Two universities might have identically-named courses but teach different content.
Campus culture: Does your son/daughter’s chosen university have a strong academic culture? Is it more sporty? Is it more relaxed?
Location: Does your teen want to live closer to home in case they want to visit often? Or are they more of an adventurer and want to move further away?
Career outcomes: How employable will your son/daughter be once they finish their undergraduate course?
For families without much existing knowledge of the university application process, you may want to consider dedicated university admissions consultants who will help your teen evaluate fit and identify overlooked opportunities as well as how to craft the best possible application.
Support Your Teen, But Don’t Take Over
You may be tempted to take over every step of the university application process from your teen, especially if you are frustrated with how they are writing their personal statement, but remember that this is their application, not yours. Your son/daughter needs the agency to craft their own application because after all, it’ll be them who will be studying for three years, not you.
In practice, this means taking a step back from the personal statement writing process. Your role is to proofread your teen’s personal statement, not to write and rewrite drafts for them. This approach not only instils independence and confidence, it also produces an authentic voice in their writing, ultimately leading to a stronger application. Admissions officers value authenticity and independence.
A simple way to support your teen is by keeping a calendar of key deadlines, and encouraging completing those tasks early to avoid last minute stress. Remember that schools often have internal deadlines for their students, complicating the application process further.
Some key dates are shown below:
September 19 - UCAT registration deadline
October 15th - Oxbridge, medicine, veterinary medicine, dentistry UCAS deadline
Late October to mid November - Oxbridge aptitude tests
November to December - Oxbridge, medicine, veterinary medicine, dentistry interviews
January 14 - UCAS deadline for all other universities
With stakes seemingly so high, the university application process can be emotionally draining and stressful for you and your teen. In this environment, parents can create a supportive environment by reassuring their teen that their self-worth is not defined by their university offers.
Building Skills Early
For parents with younger teens, perhaps a few years from applying to university, you can prepare them to stand out in their university application by developing their key skills and attributes early.
Encourage them to:
Think critically and question assumptions
Read widely and discuss ideas
Pursue meaningful extracurriculars
Explore projects or volunteering aligned with their interests
Not only do these skills and experiences make them more competitive for university applications, it also develops them as well-rounded and confident individuals ready to take on any challenge presented to them.
Oxford
Seek Expert Guidance When Needed
Even the most supportive parents may feel overwhelmed by the barrage of deadlines, tasks, and decisions. With so many aspects of the application to juggle, it’s easy to miss a deadline or make the wrong decision. For parents who want to offload that stress, you may want to consider seeking help from experienced professional university admissions consultants to complement your parental support. Expert consultants can simplify complex processes, like writing the personal statement, provide clarity, and reduce the whole family’s stress.
University admissions consultants are even more valuable if your teen plans to apply to especially competitive courses (e.g. medicine) or universities (e.g. Oxbridge). These applications have more components, like admissions tests and interviews, which often require rigorous preparation and practice.
Supporting your teen through their university application process is ultimately about being present without being controlling. Your role as a parent is to offer guidance without dictating choices, and staying in control without being overbearing. By understanding your teen’s goals and motivations, helping them plan strategically, and knowing when to step back, you can empower your teen to submit an authentic university application that showcases who they truly are. Remember: this is not just about getting into university. It’s about helping your teen grow into an adult with the confidence and skills to navigate it successfully.
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